The Odds Are Against Us
by my-chemical-romanoff
Summary: When the first round of Avengers retire, Bruce wishes to finally settle down and start a family. Natasha longs to give in, but the Black Widow is hardly ready to quit her day job, and she knows the odds are against them. Post AoU. Brutasha.
1. Chapter 1

**April**

"I'm looking into adoption."

Natasha was hardly fazed by her partner's announcement. Mostly because she saw this coming.

Bruce fidgeted with his hands in his lap as he stared intently at Natasha. "I've looked into it, and I'd really like to register. You don't have to be in on this," Bruce quickly interrupted, though Natasha was in no hurry to speak. "I can register as a single parent." She was silent. "It could take a year, maybe longer… and that's if I pass for qualification…" He lowered his head to stare at the carpeted floor. "I don't think I'll pass...Even after going three years without an incident."

Again, Natasha saw this coming. Bruce was an open book about this kind of thing. There remained a void in his heart that only kids could fill. Natasha reached out to massage gentle circles against his back. She could sense that tangible longing in his eyes whenever they visited Clint's little hawklings. The sight was enough to send her repressed biological clock screaming. "You deserve to be a father more than anyone," she soothed.

Bruce glanced up with a hopeful smile. "You'll do it?"

"You know I would." Her tone lacked the enthusiasm that Bruce's had, but she wasn't as optimistic as he was. "You really think they'll let the Black Widow and Hulk take a kid?" She lowered her hand and let it rest at her side.

"We're capable." He straightened his back and took her hand in his. "We've worked to keep the other guy at bay. You've helped me tame him, and he was much worse than a screaming toddler," he chuckled. "Besides." His smile fell. "Aren't we done being the heroes? Those torches were passed…"

All except hers. After Tony announced retirement, Clint was quick to follow, same for Bruce. The Black Widow only knew the life of espionage and danger. She wasn't willing to quit just yet. So she continued to fight the good fight alongside James and Sam's team of newfound Avengers. Plans to end her career hardly surfaced. She and Bruce had talked about marriage, but work managed to interfere, and that always came first for Natasha. Her fingers tightened around Bruce's. Every time she caught herself staring at his face, she noticed the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes and the wrinkles in his forehead becoming more and more prominent every day. He was hitting fifty this year, and she was pushing ninety-one, contrary to her young appearance. Time wasn't catching up to her the way it was with Bruce. The sand kept trickling down in his hourglass while hers was a mystery. He wanted a family-that wasn't going to change. Natasha also wasn't willing to discourage it. "I want our options open," she finally said. "I've done some research." She pursed her lips. "Years ago… but now it might be more hopeful." Bruce gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Shortly after what happened to me, I looked into reversing it. Mainly to spite what was done. They could take me apart, but I could piece myself back together-that made me feel like I had the upper hand." Natasha paused. "I was told it could be done, but in the end, I didn't want to face another surgery. I also didn't want to take a risk and end up pregnant somewhere down the line. The program was right about us-we weren't made to be mothers, and I didn't see why anyone would want to bring a kid up in this world."

"Natasha," Bruce softly disrupted. "Given that things can be fixed for you doesn't mean that they can be fixed for me."

She reached out to cup his cheek. "What if we look into it? We've got the technology to replace organs and tissues. Hell, you were a part of making Vision… Don't you think science has a way to pick us some winning swimmers?" She managed a smirk.

Bruce uneasily laughed as he placed his hand over hers. "We've got the odds against us in both cases," he stated. "But I want us to have a family. We won't get there without taking some risks."

Natasha leaned in to give him a kiss. "You're the optimist in this ship, Banner. That's how it should stay."

He let his nose nuzzle her cheek. "Maybe our odds will be better if we finally got married."

She raised a brow. "Is this some old wives superstition?"

"No," he shyly grinned. "I just want an excuse to finally marry you."

"Well, I need a proposal, big guy," she challenged, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Bruce wrinkled his nose. "You denied me the first time. And the second time, you were called away before I could ask."

"The first time was after Stark and Pep's wedding. We can't just steal their thunder like that," she winked. "But I'm sorry about take two. Third time's the charm, though."

"Would you like a proposal now, Ms. Romanoff?" he teased.

"I think I'd rather have you surprise me," she hinted.

"You know I can't surprise you." He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close for another kiss. She was everything that he ever wanted. "Thank you," he murmured. "For agreeing."

"You know I want this just as much as you do." She knew he was referring to a child, but marriage was a close second.


	2. Chapter 2

**May**

"This marks two days in a row," Natasha commented, holding Bruce's hand as they stood frozen in place. The sun was shining bright overhead, casting short shadows against the grass.

"We've always come on the anniversary," Bruce replied, eyes low. Today was the first day the temperature was close to eighty and he was regretting wearing a jacket. "But I figured we'd get some luck coming here before our appointment."

"I never knew you were superstitious."

Bruce turned to her with a smile. "Steve was happy for us. I remember him telling me to not let you go."

Natasha bowed her head and smiled. "Payback for all the times I tried setting him up."

"I'm hoping he'll bring us some luck." Bruce gently squeezed her hand for reassurance.

"I dunno, Bruce." Natasha turned to her right, staring off towards the end of a row of slate headstones. "I think Coulson's sending some bad vibes."

"I'm sure Phil would understand that we tried," Bruce reasoned. "The spots next to him filled up fast."

Natasha turned to her left. "At least the spot by Peggy wasn't taken." She knelt down to straighten a lopsided bouquet of fresh tulips. "That's what matters, right, Rogers?" Her hand reached out to touch the warm stone.

Bruce dropped to one knee and placed a hand on the small of Natasha's back. "Wish us some luck, Steve."

Natasha quietly exhaled. "If this works out, this is the end for the original Avengers."

Bruce rose to his feet and offered a hand to Natasha, but she denied. "We're still Avengers in spirit."

She brushed some grassy residue from her knee as she stood. "Maybe I'll still continue the legacy," she shrugged. "Once we get settled with the kid."

"Aren't you worried about travelling? What if you're gone for months? Years…?" Bruce began to walk away and Natasha followed.

"I'm only thinking of the 'what ifs,'" Natasha warned. "Maybe a kid will be enough to make me quit altogether. I don't think it will, though."

"Whether we can conceive on our own or adopt, you need to promise me that our family comes first." Bruce stopped dead in his tracks and narrowed his eyes.

Natasha bit her lower lip and nodded. "I know… I guess I'm just finding it hard to let go of this life. It's all I've really known."

"Your life as Mrs. Bruce Banner will be a refreshing start," he promised. "And much happier." He leaned in to kiss her cheek.

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "Only you can be a romantic in a cemetery."

* * *

Bruce's appointment was first. Natasha held his hand as they sat before a specialist. Given Bruce's unique situation, several samples were collected over the weeks leading up to this day, and a blood test and ultrasound were issued prior to their sit-down. The radiation in his body had weakened (Bruce knew this after having kept weekly records of his body's statistics), but that failed to aid in their predicament. His overall numbers were lower than the normal low.

Natasha strengthened her grip when that news was brought up. She could already imagine the pained look in Bruce's eyes and it was breaking her heart.

Surgery was their best option. Even with all odds against them, Bruce agreed. Natasha was also in agreement to multiple surgeries: one to reverse sterilization, and another for a form of in vitro fertilization.

All the surgery talk had Bruce feeling the clamminess of Natasha's hand. He requested a moment alone with his partner before they were further pressured into setting any dates in stone. "Are you feeling rushed?" he asked after the doctor left the room.

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand. "It's happening faster than I thought," she breathed.

"We can wait a few months," he suggested. "Have you even told Nick?"

Her boss' lack of involvement in her family plans was the deal breaker. Fury had been like a father to her. He was the first person who deserved to be in the loop. As much as it killed her to say no to Bruce's sad puppy eyes, she wasn't as prepared as he was. "I'm sorry."

He smiled and shook his head in reply. "We both need to be ready for this, Natasha."

"Give me a month," she muttered, running her fingers through her long curls.

"Natasha," Bruce hesitated. "I don't want you rushing into this."

"Have you seen your face?" she snorted. "You look desperate."

He took a deep breath and apologized. "Maybe we should start with adoption registration."

Natasha forced herself to relax in her chair. "I think I'm in too deep for that, Bruce," she sighed. "You've got me wanting your baby in me."

He started to chuckle. "We can't be greedy. The chances this works is slim…"

"You're not being very positive." She smiled, but she knew he was right. "Let's aim high and see where it takes us."

Bruce's expression softened. "You'll never know how much I love you."

"It's hard not to adore you." Natasha leaned over for a quick kiss.

"I don't think here is the best place to get crazy," he teased.

She brought her lips close to his ear. "Live a little," she huskily whispered.

* * *

Nick gave his employee a doubtful stare as she entered his office and took a seat before his desk. "Don't tell me you're leaving me, Romanoff."

Fury was the only one to pull off a better heartbroken face than Bruce. "You're killing me, Nick," she playfully groaned.

"So you're finally retiring," he concluded.

"I never said that," Natasha interrupted.

"Are two of my agents finally getting married?" He searched her hand for a ring, but found nothing.

"Maybe soon," Natasha mused. "For now, I'm requesting a vacation."

Nick leaned back in his leather chair and laughed. "This is new coming from you."

Natasha paused and let her lips form a thin line. "Bruce and I are making some changes." Nick observed her, looking more drained than he did last week. She wondered if Pietro was giving him a run for his money, or maybe Sam was being overly ambitious with taking on missions. "He's got me wanting to settle down." The Director's stoic expression was like stone. "We've looked into surgeries. Fertility surgeries, actually."

His brow raised as he slowly exhaled. "Children," he dumbly stated.

"If it doesn't work, we're registering for adoption."

"How safe are these surgeries?" He leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands atop his desk.

Natasha shrugged. "The real issue is whether or not it _works._ " She managed a smile. Nick was looking too tense for comfort. "Chances are slim, but there's always adoption to fall back on."

"And you plan to come back to work?"

"I'll see how things go once we get settled. But I think Bruce would be happier if I retired," she breathlessly laughed.

"I'd be happier, too," Nick answered. "Isn't this job getting old, Romanoff?"

"Am I the only one who doesn't think that?" she smirked.

"Young in body and mind," he retorted.

She folded her arms across her chest. "I'm still not sure about when we're having the surgeries done," she continued in a serious tone. "We only started discussing this three weeks ago."

Nick quietly observed her. Though she didn't show it, she was tense. He knew her better than anyone else, and he knew she wasn't ready. "Banner doesn't seem like the pressuring type."

"There's no pressure." She fixed her eyes on a tray full of paperwork.

"Then why do I sense you're feeling rushed?"

Natasha took a long, hard look at her boss and counted every visible wrinkle on his face. Eleven. "He's getting old, Nick." She subconsciously hugged her chest tighter. "He really wants this. And so do I."

"You can have your cake, but you can't always eat it," he sternly warned.

Nick had never fathered any children of his own, but she didn't bother correcting him. She knew he was right.

"It's time you ask yourself what matters most," he calmly continued. "I'm not saying you can't keep your job. You're irreplaceable, Romanoff."

She tiredly smiled. "Promise me you won't have a heart attack if I need a nine month break."

"Wilson will gladly cover for you," he joked.

She felt an uneasiness growing in her gut. "Bruce deserves this chance. And I want this, too."

"I trust you, Natasha," he reassured. "And I trust you'll pick the right name for a boy."

"Hulk Jr.," she snorted. "Will do."

* * *

"So what did Nick think?" Bruce wondered as he handed her a plate of pasta.

She promised herself early on in their relationship that there would be no lies between her and Bruce. "He's afraid I'm feeling rushed."

Bruce took his place in the chair across from her. "I really don't mean to rush you, Tasha. This is a huge commitment." He kept his eyes on her face as he reached for a container of parmesan cheese.

"I know it is." She absently twirled a strand of fettuccine around her fork. "But I'm ready." She lowered her fork to meet Bruce's gaze. "Let's see if they can schedule us in for Father's Day weekend." Natasha forced a smile. "My gift to you."

Bruce chuckled and raised his glass of water. "To family."

"To family," Natasha half-heartedly agreed, clinking her glass against his. She took a sip of her soda before forcing herself to eat. The thought of having a child terrified her, but the more threatening something seemed, the more she felt drawn to it. She glanced up at Bruce and caught him eying her.

"You're smiling," he noticed.

"I was just thinking about the other guy." She took a bite of her pasta and chewed while Bruce playfully scoffed.

"Don't tell me you're seeing him again," he teased.

After swallowing, her stomach felt eager enough to continue eating. "We broke it off," she promised. "Told him I've found a better guy who's bought me a ring."

"I bet it's a nice ring," Bruce hinted.

Natasha took another bite and shrugged. "When did you buy it?"

Bruce was in the middle of chewing, and he continued to do so until the food felt like mush. "After Steve died," he quietly replied.

"I take it he got you thinking?"

He nodded as he sipped his water. "He once told me he waited too long, and that I shouldn't make the same mistake."

Natasha placed the back of her hand against the varnished tabletop. "I'm glad you took his advice."

Bruce placed his hand over hers as a wide grin crept across his lips. "Me, too."


	3. Chapter 3

**June**

Bruce draped his coat over an arm as a nurse escorted him into a recovery room. Outside may have been the middle of June, but inside the waiting room felt colder than the last winter storm. He approached the bed where Natasha lay and was surprised to see she was conscious. "Hey," he grinned as he pulled up a chair. "I was told it went well." Bruce reached for her hand that lay closest to her side. Natasha's glassy eyes made him assume the anesthesia was still going strong. "You're not in much pain, are you?"

Her free hand lightly caressed her lower belly. "I felt everything," she murmured.

Bruce smiled and wondered if he should record Natasha's drugged stupor, but she'd kill him if she ever found the blackmail. "The nurse said we can leave in a few hours," he promised. "Then its bed rest," he strictly ordered. "Nothing strenu-…"

"I felt it all," Natasha breathed. She turned to Bruce with tears clouding her eyes. "Ev…everything." She swallowed back the lump in her throat. Bruce looked at her as if she kicked him in the gut. "I-I'm sorry…"

"Oh my god..." His voice hitched as he bolted up from the chair. "Natasha, I-I'm so sorry!" He carefully cupped her face between his large hands. "It's all over now," he soothed. "You're okay." He leveled his gaze with hers before he kissed her.

"I shouldn't have said that," she groaned, placing a hand over his. "But it was awful… And I feel like shit."

Bruce felt a tad more at ease now that Natasha was sounding more herself. "I'll get you some ice cream." He knew it wouldn't take away her trauma, but with everything said and done, there was nothing more he could do.

"Kinda feeling like take-out," she replied with a smirk.

"You know I'm spoiling you," Bruce promised before kissing her forehead. "I just can't believe that happened. I've heard it's a rare occurrence…"

"Must be a side effect of the serum," she mused.

"At least it went smoothly," he reassured. "This will all be worth it," he added, lowering himself into his chair.

Natasha closed her eyes and tried to ignore the prickling soreness in her gut. "I hope so."

"You're making me dread my own surgery," he joked. "That's…not a part where a man wants an incision."

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "It hurts to laugh."

* * *

"Maybe I should make it hurt for you," Natasha commented as Bruce walked beside her with a slight limp. She felt fully recovered after last week's procedure, but still envied how pain-free Bruce felt. Between the couple, they had two surgeries down, and another two to go until they would know if any Hulklings would be pattering around their apartment.

"I wouldn't hold that against you," he chuckled.

"So they found us some baby Banner candidates?" she asked as they neared the reception desk.

Bruce hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck. "My count is low, but they took what they could get." The procedure took twice as long as what he was told, but it was better than nothing.

"Looks like it's up to me for eggs, then." She stood up on her tiptoes to give Bruce a quick kiss.

"This is about us, Natasha," he gently reminded her. "We're in this together."

Natasha laced her fingers with his as she approached a woman working the front desk. "Natasha Romanoff. I'm scheduled for four o'clock."

* * *

"Funny how our baby is starting off as a lab experiment," Bruce mused. After a long fifty-three hour wait for results, they were informed that five embryos had formed and were ready and waiting on Natasha.

"That's not funny," Natasha retorted as she stared out the car window. "And if we get a kid from this, don't talk like that. _Experiment,_ " she huffed.

He briefly glanced over at her as he drove. If not for the traffic, Bruce could've driven to the hospital blindfolded. "Sorry," he breathed. "I just… Lab humour…" His voice trailed off as he stopped at a red light.

"Speaking of labs…" She watched Bruce from the corner of her eye. "Does Stark know?"

He stole one last glimpse at her as the light flashed to green. "No. Does Clint know?"

Natasha shook her head. "I'd rather not mention anything until we're sure."

"It's hard to not let them in on it..."

"And even if I do get pregnant, we're waiting three months," she ordered.

The thought had Bruce grinning like a restless child. "Twelve whole weeks?"

She narrowed her eyes in his direction. "I've read into this, Bruce. I don't want us getting excited over a baby and end up losing it."

"Natasha…" His joy was drained in an instant.

"Just because we have an embryo doesn't mean my body will accept it. It takes couples multiple tries, and even that doesn't guarantee a kid."

Her attitude made him wonder if now was the best time to start their family. He expected Natasha to be sending nothing but positive vibes to their unborn. "We've made it this far," he comforted. "Part of me didn't think we'd ever get this close."

Looking at Bruce made her remember why she was doing this in the first place. Time wasn't going to stop for him, and she refused to let him leave her harboring any last regrets. "The hormones they've got me on have me going nuts," she sighed. "But we've gotta keep the possibilities open."

"There's still adoption," he mentioned. "If we don't get a baby within a year, we'll register with an agency and give someone the parents they deserve," Bruce suggested with a soft smile.

The car turned into the hospital's parking garage.

"One year," Natasha agreed.

* * *

She was told to call back in two weeks after taking a pregnancy test. All she and Bruce could do for the time being was wait. "Not sure how I should feel," Natasha commented as she sank into the couch. "We've got a potential kid in here," she continued, rubbing her flat stomach.

Bruce wrinkled his nose as he sat down beside her. "Don't say 'potential.' We don't want that negativity in here."

Natasha relaxed against his chest. "'We' me and you, or 'we' you and baby?"

"' _We_ ' as in the three of us," he hummed as his fingers combed through her curls.

She closed her eyes and nuzzled against the crook of his neck. "It's gonna be a long two weeks."

"Don't take a test without me," he smiled.

"Only if you promise not to mention babies," she wagered.

Bruce chuckled. "I'll do my best."

Natasha came home with four plastic bags, two from separate drugstores, another from a Target she had never been to, and the fourth from a distant Wal-Mart.

Bruce set his book aside once he heard Natasha slam the door. "Long lines today?" The usual hour long shopping trip took twice as long as normal. He rose to his feet and followed the sound of rustling bags.

She rested the four separate bags on the counter and dug through each one until she found the home tests. "I took some detours."

He grabbed one of the bags from the pharmacy and found hand soap, powdered drink mixes, a birthday card… "Whose Birthday?" Bruce lifted the card with cartoon cats on it.

"I'll save it for Barton or someone," she muttered, removing her sunglasses before opening up box number one.

Bruce laughed and began rummaging through the Wal-Mart bag: deodorant, chips, men's socks… "Did you really turn this into an undercover mission?" he teased.

"No one needs to know our private life." Natasha scanned the instructions, then moved onto box number two. The test was a different brand, but she figured the "pee on the stick" rules were same as test number one.

Bruce helped in opening the next box. "99.9% accurate," he read. "Is the .1% difference the reason you needed backups?"

"They can give mixed results." Natasha reached for the final box. "You mind starting dinner while I do this?"

He smiled and reached for the Target bag. "I'll whip something up out of all the goodies you brought home."

Natasha lightly swatted his arm before gathering the tests.

Bruce took advantage of the hamburger buns she bought and found a pack of veggie burgers in the freezer. He brought out the skillet and some oil as he anxiously got dinner started.

Natasha returned moments later. She grabbed a cup and filled it to the brim with water.

Bruce watched her from the corner of his eye.

"It's gonna be a while till we know anything," she warned, feeling his gaze.

"You're in no rush," he noticed as he opened up the box of burgers.

Natasha sipped her water while putting away the items resulting from an afternoon of grabbing random findings off of shelves. She set the table right after, followed by a necessary bathroom break. "Two down," she droned upon returning into the kitchen. Natasha snatched a tomato and cheese from the fridge.

"Are you peeking?" Bruce wondered.

She found a knife and began slicing the tomato in uniform slices. "No, and you better not, either."

Bruce flipped the burgers in their pan while staring at Natasha. While his stomach was in knots, she seemed as collected as ever. He had been envisioning this day for the past two weeks. Natasha would show him a positive test and throw her arms around him. In other daydreams, she'd cry, and then he would cry. Right now, he was fixated on a particular daydream of them entering the bathroom to find all four tests positive. Bruce made a note to himself to sneak away after dinner to grab her ring. He couldn't think of a better time to propose.

Natasha took two bites out of her burger before realizing she really wasn't hungry. Between downing three glasses of water and the fear of disappointing Bruce, her stomach felt full.

Bruce was now sensing Natasha's nerves. They were contagious. "You should try eating some more," he nudged, despite his own burger being half eaten. "Your health is even more important now."

She tiredly eyed her empty glass before rising from the table. "Bathroom," she whispered.

He managed to finish his burger by the time Natasha returned. "Are you finished up with business in there?"

"Three minutes," she announced, taking her seat.

He quietly observed as she picked at her dinner. "Promise me that we won't give up if this doesn't work."

Natasha lifted her chin to meet his stare. "Only if you swear that you'll never hold this against me."

"Why?" he gasped, eyes wide. "Why would you think that?"

She ran a hand through her hair and glanced down. "You want this baby so much more than I do."

"Don't say that. Natasha…"

"Is adoption really going to make you happy?" Her eyes flickered to his. "Can you honestly tell me that someone else's baby will make you happy?"

He furrowed his brows. "They'll be _ours,_ Natasha…" His voice caught in his throat. "Are… Did you check the tests?"

Her fingers curled into a tight fist. "One."

Bruce ignored the pang in his chest as he abandoned his chair to kneel before Natasha's. "It could've been wrong. And even if it's not," he quickly added before she could protest, "we'll try again." A hand reached out to stroke her cheek, but she jerked her head to the side. "I love you, Natasha. Baby or no baby, I love you. And I want to marry you," he swore.

Natasha opened her hand and waited for the warmth of his palm against hers. "I just want you to be happy," she breathed.

" _You're_ my happiness," he promised with a meek grin.

Natasha knew that he was all talk. The strained sob in his throat when they found all four tests to be negative told her so.

"We'll…we'll wait a few more months." Bruce kept his head low. Despite his efforts, he couldn't hide his disappointment. "It'll be okay." He knew keeping his hopes high was dangerous, but he yearned for Natasha's smile and a positive test. Their efforts deserved a reward.

"We're getting another one injected after my period," Natasha decided. "No waiting."

Bruce gave her hand a rough squeeze. "Only if you feel ready."

Her free hand trailed down her middle. "I'm ready," she softly answered.

Natasha contacted Fury later that night to inform him that she was willing to accept her upcoming mission. He asked no further questions regarding her condition. So long as she kept taking on the dirty work, he would know.


	4. Chapter 4

**August**

Growing up as a teen in the Red Room, she rarely had her period. The same went for the other girls in the program. Between regular injections and stress brought on by having to use innocent victims as target practice, Natasha never had the monthly opportunity to groan to her girlfriends about cramps and bloating. Until Natasha explained her situation with a simple "I'm enhanced with a serum" excuse, her doctor thought she was joking when she stated that her last period was over seventy years ago.

For such a rare occurrence in her life, Natasha had every right to feel shaken when she woke up in the middle with her shorts feeling damp. She swore under her breath as she left the bed, careful as to not wake Bruce, and hurry to the bathroom. Her underwear was ruined. As for her black shorts, those could be salvaged with tomorrow's laundry. Scowling, Natasha cleaned herself up and changed before finally opening up the pads she bought two and a half months ago. Her only comfort was that once her week was up, she could return to her doctor for embryo number two. Bruce would also be thrilled to know that forty-six days after their negative tests, they would soon be back on track for baby Bannanoff. Natasha made her way back to bed and noticed a dark blotch staining her side of the sheets. Laundry would definitely be her morning's priority.

"What matters is that you're feeling okay," Bruce commented over breakfast.

Natasha stabbed through her stack of pancakes with a fork. "Hopefully this is the only time I have to deal with this." She swirled a forkful of food around in syrup before popping it into her mouth. "Sorry you have to hear all of this," she added after swallowing.

Bruce uneasily chuckled as he poked at a blueberry. "It's natural."

"You're disgusted," she smirked.

"Really, Natasha." He breathlessly laughed. "It's alright… A different subject to talk about, but it's fine."

Natasha would never _not_ admire her partner's bashfulness. It was one of the traits she had always admired about him. He seemed like the kind of man to pass out in the delivery room… Natasha's mouth formed a thin line. She swore not to think about kids.

"Natasha?" he worriedly asked.

"Hormones," she answered, shaking her head.

"You've drawn that card on me several times now," he teased.

"It's true," she shrugged. "Between the meds and what's going on down _there_." Bruce laughed. "They're going at full speed."

The second day of her cycle felt worse than the first. Her pants felt tighter around her hips, but the most annoying part was her craving for a particular glasses wearing scientist. She found herself curling into Bruce's side while they watched TV after dinner. While Bruce babbled on during a rainforest documentary, Natasha absently hummed as her hand rubbed his thigh. He was always dense, but tonight it was more unbearable than normal. She drew her face close to his neck and playfully nipped his collared shirt with her teeth.

Bruce stopped mid-sentence to finally acknowledge his partner's actions. "Sorry, this is boring you, isn't it?" he smiled.

"A little bit, yeah," she admitted.

He reached for the remote on the coffee table, but Natasha grabbed his hand before he could touch it.

"Keep watching," she said, pulling away from his side and bringing her feet close to her body. Clearly, the rainforest's wildlife had his full attention.

Bruce turned his head as his hand rubbed her foot. "Were you in the mood for something particular?" The corner of his lips raised in a smirk.

"Not unless you think bleeding's sexy."

"Sounds like you're purposefully trying to drive me away." He worked his fingers in between her toes. "If you can help me get things going, then I'll be happy to please."

Natasha eagerly accepted the challenge. Her fingers fumbled with his belt as he pressed his mouth against hers.

"Sure you won't be disgusted?" she breathed.

"With you? Never." His hand crept beneath her shirt to revel in her skin's warmth.

"Love you," she mumbled in between kisses.

"I love you more."

A mission came up the next day that sent Natasha away for two weeks. She welcomed the break away from home. Once she was home and settling back into domestic life, she had an appointment to have potential baby number two injected. They were advised to wait for Natasha to have another three cycles, but she was far too impatient.

"More rest should do the trick," Bruce hopefully suggested when they arrived home from their appointment.

"The Doc didn't guarantee that," she replied, wrinkling her nose.

"Well, you'll be putting your feet up more, regardless," Bruce firmly ordered. "Don't forget who your at-home doctor is," he lightly chuckled.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "We both know you're not that kind of doctor."

"I've gained my share of medical knowledge," he humbly informed her. "Broken bones, burns, concussions…"

"You know I'd trust you with my life, Doc," she promised with a smile.

"Then heed my advice and relax for the evening, Ms. Romanoff," he playfully ordered. "Doctor's orders."

Natasha trudged over to the couch while Bruce went to work on dinner. The two weeks of hellish waiting were back, and Natasha knew that Bruce's heart couldn't handle another loss. She stretched across the leather sofa and prayed for his sanity's sake that they wouldn't have to face another negative test.

* * *

 **September**

"Let me get back to you on that, Nick." Natasha ended her call, an offer for a four day trip to Spain. She wondered if Nick had caught on to the previous missions she declined within the course of two weeks. Hopefully, she would be allowed to continue turning down any missions within the upcoming nine months. "Bruce!" she called out.

Bruce appeared in the bathroom doorway, fastening the last of the buttons lining his yellow shirt. "Ready?" he excitedly beamed.

Natasha eyed the mess of curls on his head. The locks on the side were flat while others towards the top were enthusiastically sticking up. "I think you forgot something." She reached for his comb by the sink, but her trembling fingers refused to grasp it without dropping it to the floor. "Sorry," she growled.

"I've got it!" Bruce knelt down before she had the chance to bend over. He grabbed his comb and as he stood, he noticed Natasha's hands balled up into fists. "Maybe…maybe we should wait until I get home…" He never saw her this anxious before.

"No," she quickly shook her head. "We're doing this now. I'll peek if we don't…"

He nodded, the weight of her ring feeling like lead in his pocket.

Her eyes flickered over to four face down tests. "Look and tell me."

Bruce reached for one with a hopeful smile. "How about I take two and you ta-"

Natasha shook her head. "Just you." She held her breath and carefully observed his face.

He was hardly able to contain his silly grin as he closed his eyes for the split second it took to flip the test over for a result.

Natasha noted a subtle twitch at the corners of his lips. He set the first test aside, face down, and quickly grabbed another. As he reached for the third test, his awkward smile failed to reach his eyes. " _Shit!_ " she hissed, smacking her fist against the wall. " **Shit!** ** _Shit!_** "

Bruce flipped over the final test before throwing his arms around Natasha. "It's okay," he murmured, stroking her curls. "We'll try again."

A pained cry escaped her, followed by a stream of cursing.

Bruce winced at her wounded sob. "I-It's alright, Natasha…" She buried her face into his chest and he suddenly felt something hot and wet staining his shirt. "Natasha…" His voice wavered as she loudly bawled, a heartbreaking sound that no one deserved to hear. "I… We're okay…" His arms tightened around her as the cries continued. "Natasha…" He bowed his head as he let his own tears flow.


	5. Chapter 5

**November**

"I understand that I'm in no place to speak for Natasha," Bruce lectured as he sat before Nick Fury's desk. "But I'd like you to consider cutting her workload."

Nick eyed his former employee with a cold, stern glare. "Romanoff is perfectly capable of telling me this herself."

"I understand that," Bruce agreed. "However, she isn't telling you about the stress this is bringing her."

"Dr. Banner," Fury interrupted, "I'm well aware of the pressure, but Agent Romanoff has been requesting these missions. Her not being able to play house with you is a matter you two need to discuss."

Bruce dismissed Fury's negativity. He knew that talking things through with Natasha was the only way to solve their problems, but she had purposefully distanced herself after their last failed attempt for a child.

"This is her way of coping with stress," Nick calmly informed Bruce. "She isn't running away from you. I know how much she cares about you, but this is how Natasha copes. Give her time."

Bruce rested his elbow on the arm of his chair and rested his head in his hand. "She's told you we're trying to start a family," he weakly continued.

"I take it that isn't going so well…" Nick laced his fingers atop his desks. "I'm sorry, Bruce. I truly am."

He nodded with a quiet "thank you."

"Romanoff deserves a little settling down, but it seems that neither of us has the power to control her. She's stubborn. Always has been."

Bruce lifted his head to plead with the Director. "Can't you assign her work to someone else?"

"Not when Romanoff's the one demanding it."

"She comes home tomorrow-can you please try denying her so we can talk?" Bruce begged.

Nick took a deep breath. "I'll see what I can do. Until then, I hope you two work things out."

There was a long pause as Bruce stared at the Director. "Has she… Does she mention me? And having a family...?"

Nick lowered his eye. "All I know is that she wants you to be happy. She'll do whatever she can to make it happen."

Bruce nodded and managed a fake smile. "Thank you, sir."

* * *

She came home later than Bruce anticipated. He assumed it was on purpose, but he wasn't going to point any fingers. Instead, he followed her into their bedroom. "How was the trip?"

Natasha tossed her duffel bag down by her dresser. She could unpack tomorrow. "Fine."

That was the most he expected to get out of her, and it wasn't good enough for him. "Are you hungry? I can make you something."

"I stopped for a burger," she replied, rummaging through her drawers for clean clothes.

"Natasha," he sighed. "Can we please talk? This silent treatment has gone on far too long."

"I need a shower," she muttered.

"Natasha."

She kicked the drawer shut and marched past Bruce and into their bathroom.

His brows furrowed as the door's lock clicked into place. He took a seat at the edge of the bed and folded his hands in his lap. Natasha couldn't be blamed for this. _He_ was the one to bring up a family, and the idea exploded right in his face. This was his fault. The shower's faucet hummed to life and he patiently waited, staring at the door. Given the choice between a child and Natasha, his heart knew which was the right choice.

Natasha emerged from the bathroom after nearly an hour. She knew she couldn't avoid Bruce all night.

He watched her from their bed as she toweled her damp hair. "I choose us, Natasha. Just you and me."

She narrowed her eyes and let the towel rest on her shoulders.

"I don't want the idea of a baby destroying what we have," he gravely continued. "We should take our losses as a sign we're not ready to be parents." His eyes winced before he bowed his head.

"You can't lie to yourself, Bruce," Natasha warned. "You've always dreamt of a family."

"Dreams end," he sighed in defeat.

Natasha shot him a cold glare. "Don't lie to me, Bruce!"

He bolted upright and swung an arm through the air. "Then stop avoiding me!" he shouted.

Her muscles tensed as his shrillness echoed in her skull. That was the first time he had raised his voice in years.

Bruce clenched his jaw as Natasha stood frozen in place. "We agreed to do this together!" he scolded. "Don't expect to throw me out! Our family was meant to make us happy, but you've given up…" His eyes began to sting as Natasha's pained sobs replayed in his mind. "We both lost that baby." He clenched his jaw. "Natasha, I want to make you happy. I-I hate seeing you this upset, so _please_ stop putting this stress on yourself and stay home. _Talk_ to me about your feelings…" Bruce couldn't fight back the tears that began rolling down his cheeks.

Natasha averted her gaze. Seeing him that wounded was her cruel reminder that she couldn't give him what he wanted. "This is what you want, Bruce…" The towel fell from her shoulders as she drew towards the bed. "And I… I want this, too, but not as badly as you do." She reached for his hand and pulled him down to sit on the bed.

"I don't need it. Natasha, I…" He tried to keep a strong face as he looked her in the eyes.

She gently stroked his cheek. "I know that's a lie."

"Can we just focus on us for now?" he softly suggested. "You and me… Maybe some wedding planning?" He raised the corner of his lip.

Her mouth formed a hard line as she wiped his tears with her thumb. "I… haven't had my period yet. How about we try again right after? Third time's the charm." She weakly laughed.

"No." He shook his head. "All of this stress is affecting you, hurting you… and it's going to hurt the baby. We can wait."

"Bruce…" She didn't want him to start his career as a father so late in his life. "I want us to be parents. I'll call Nick and tell him I'm taking a few years off."

"You love your job too much."

"Love takes sacrifice," Natasha informed. "I'll request some time off, and we'll register for adoption. That way if take three doesn't work, at least we won't need to wait as long on an agency."

"A-are you sure?" They were each willing to make sacrifices for each other, but Bruce wished Natasha wouldn't go so far for him.

"We'll take a vacation," she continued. "My birthday's soon, you know," she hinted.

The tears had all dried up. "I'd really like that," he agreed.

As promised, Natasha requested time off, but only until January. She referred to it as an "extended holiday." Nick bought it without a word of hesitation. She had high hopes to be completely de-stressed for Bruce's birthday in December to surprise him with a baby.

* * *

After celebrating her birthday with all of their friends, Bruce surprised Natasha with a late night flight to Paris. She told him he was being corny, but, as expected, he simply smiled and laughed.

"So how long are we here?" she wondered as they stood on the balcony of their hotel room. They had a view of the Eiffel Tower from their room and Natasha was eager to see it at night with Bruce at her side.

"A week." He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. "So promise me we won't spend it in bed."

She snorted and placed her hands over his. "You implying something, Banner?"

"Maybe I'm just jet-lagged," he mused.

She turned in his embrace and smirked. "Then we should do something about that."

Their first night in the city took off with dinner, followed by a trip to the Eiffel Tower. The view had Bruce feeling slightly queasy, but he survived. Mornings and afternoons were spent touring the city, visiting museums, and trying food while their nights always ended with them having their legs wrapped around each other's.

"Maybe we should stay another day," Bruce suggested, packing up his suitcase the evening before their flight.

"I'm sure we'll be back."

"I hope your birthday was a stress free one," he chuckled.

" _Very,_ " she promised."But I'm expecting more stressful days are ahead us."

Bruce furrowed his brows.

"I hear wedding planning can be a bitch."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh… Well, let's try to make sure it goes smoothly!"

"Still need a ring, Bruce," she warned, waving her left hand in his face.

"You'll get it, you'll get it," he sang.

"For Christmas?"

"Then it wouldn't come as a surprise," he winked.


	6. Chapter 6

**December**

She had some bleeding shortly after their vacation. Natasha wanted to consult her doctor about starting her third try for a baby, but her fears held her back. Bruce would be thrilled if she could surprise him with a positive pregnancy test for his birthday, or even Christmas, but her heart would break if she got another negative result. Natasha wouldn't be able to hide that dismay, and she couldn't let Bruce bear that cross on his birthday. To avoid any baby drama, Natasha picked up the adoption paperwork. They filled out and submitted the questionnaire to an adoption agency and hoped to have some form of a response by summer. Until then, Natasha was focused on finding something worthy of Bruce's birthday and Christmas presents.

"Which one has the specs he'll like?" Natasha scanned a row of tablets that she figured would interest Bruce. She turned to acknowledge her shopping partner, Tony, to find him checking his phone. "Stark."

"I can make him a better one," he said without bothering to look at the store's latest in touch screen technology.

"I need this as his birthday present." She crossed her arms and regretted using Stark as her technology confidante, but he knew Bruce's work ethics better than anyone.

Tony stuffed his phone into his pocket and pointed to the first tablet on the display table. "That guy's an updated version of his," he commented. "Only this one's newer, shinier, _pricier,_ and full of vigor. Banner hasn't replaced his in four years."

"So I should get him this one," Natasha decided.

" _Or,_ " Tony drawled. "I'll make him a better one."

"Then it'll be _your_ gift," she replied with an eye roll.

"We'll share," he bargained with a smirk. "It'll save you four figures."

"Money's never an issue." Natasha checked the tablet's information card and decided she'd buy the version with the most space.

Tony shrugged. "Kids are pricey, Romanoff."

Natasha shot him a glare. "He told you we're adopting?" Bruce would get a mouthful later. They promised to keep it a surprise.

"Did some spying," Tony mused. "Spotted some adoption sites pulled up."

"Then keep your mouth shut," she warned. "We're telling everyone when we're ready. _We_ as in Bruce and I." She shot him an icy glare. Tony had a big mouth that had a bad habit of never shutting up.

He had no intention of mentioning what _else_ he found while snooping in regards to Bruce's man parts. Tony Stark valued his life.

"You think he'll like this one, or do you think he'll appreciate one his boyfriend made?" Natasha snorted.

"Homemade gifts are more appreciated," he winked.

"You have two weeks," Natasha warned. "And make his stylus green."

* * *

The tablet was complete two weeks later. Natasha picked it up from Tony's on her way to the store. With four more days until Bruce's birthday, she decided to buy him a green case for his new device and order a cake. She arrived home to find Bruce in the living room reading on his current tablet. Natasha put away his presents and the groceries before paying him a visit. "What're you looking at?" She curled up at his side and he draped an arm across her shoulders.

"Statistics," he hummed. "Tony and I have been working on a new project."

"Fun stuff," she drawled.

"I'm having fun," he assured her.

"Just don't overwork yourself, birthday boy." She gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

"I've got a few more days," he laughed. "Fifty years…Getting old."

Natasha's smile fell and she instinctively reached across his middle for his hand. "It's not that old." Her thumb began stroking his palm.

"Fifty's got nothing on you," he smirked. "Ms. Ninety-one," he joked.

"I better be a 'Mrs.' by next year," she warned.

"I'm sure you will." He chastely kissed the top of her head. "As well as a mom."

Natasha grew quiet after his comment. He wasn't going to let go of becoming a father…

The next morning, she made an appointment with her doctor and told Bruce she was going shopping for what he assumed to be birthday things. She longed to get another "baby implant," but her doctor suggested waiting another three menstrual cycles. This had Natasha frustrated considering that her recent cycle was nothing more than two days of spotting, and her last full cycle was back in September. She was likely to hear back from the adoption offices before her body was ready to handle a baby. Regardless, Natasha was willing to face the wait if it meant having a stronger chance for an embryo to be accepted. Waiting was better than rushing, such as the case with their second attempt.

* * *

"So what do you say, big guy?" Tony raised his wine glass to his partner. "Any grand speeches, or am I gonna have to do the talking?"

Pepper elbowed Tony in the ribs and mouthed for him to sit.

"I, uh…" Bruce smiled at his small group of friends seated around a table. Everyone had gathered at the Italian restaurant of his choice. "I think I can say a few words." He ran the back of his fingers over the condensation forming against his glass of lemonade.

"Take your time," Natasha urged. "The less we hear Stark talking, the better."

Clint snorted and Laura's laughter followed.

"I'd like to say thank you for throwing me another party," he began. "I'm really glad you all could make it." He caught Tony rolling his eyes. "I was, uh, actually thinking about doing something different as a gift to myself." He rose from his chair and Natasha caught him reaching into his pocket. Bruce turned to her with a goofy grin. "Natasha Romanoff." He awkwardly dropped to one knee and presented her with a tiny satin box. "Will you make my birthday the best one yet and let me be your husband?" The box opened to reveal a sparkling diamond ring with a golden band.

Clint wolf-whistled, Pepper and Laura held back their excited squeals, and Tony made a "best man" comment that went ignored.

"I thought we promised no making spectacles," Natasha drawled, eyeing the infamous ring she had heard so much about. Her eyes rested on Bruce's hopeful and pleading eyes. "You know my answer." She smiled, flashing her teeth as she threw her arms around her fiancé. "Yes."

Their friends began to clap and the tables surrounding theirs turned around to join in the applause.

"Kiss her!" Clint shouted.

"I love you, Natasha," Bruce beamed. "So much."

Natasha mouthed an "I love you" before pressing her lips against his.

* * *

They chose to spend Christmas alone. After a rowdy Christmas Eve with their friends, a quiet day together was much appreciated.

"Shoes?" Natasha wondered as she picked up the first of her presents.

"It's never any fun when you guess," Bruce smiled.

"Yes it is," she matter-of-factly corrected as she ripped the shiny red paper.

Bruce opened a card first and found an "I love you" message accompanied with an Amazon gift card.

Natasha admired her new pair of black and hot pink running shoes. "These are nice," she commented.

"You mentioned needing some new ones." He began opening up a present that he assumed to be a book. "' _Fatherly Advice_ ,'" he stated upon reading the cover. "I can use this."

"I thought about ' _Fatherhood for Dummies,'_ but you deserve some sentiment on Christmas," she winked, making Bruce chuckle.

"That's very considerate of you." He leaned forward to give her a kiss.

Natasha inched towards his warmth and brought her lips close to his ear. "You know what else you can give me today?" she huskily asked, tugging at his waistband.

Bruce gave her a knowing grin. "I have a vague idea…"


	7. Chapter 7

**February**

"Anything special you'd like to do on our first Valentine's Day as an engaged couple?" Bruce wondered over breakfast.

Natasha admired her engagement ring and hummed.

"You don't have any upcoming missions, do you?"

"The week after," she promised. "I'll be gone five days at most."

Bruce smiled. "Maybe we should stick to just dinner."

"I bet we can throw in a movie, too," she suggested. "And a walk in the park…" She took a sip of her orange juice.

"Sounds romantic," he chuckled.

"I can be romantic," she winked.

"Maybe we can also continue our wedding planning," Bruce added.

Natasha nodded in agreement. "Are we setting a date now, or what?"

"Well…" Bruce's eyes rested on his bagel. "Would a, uh, spring wedding be pushing it? May, June…"

She raised a brow in amusement. "Go big or go home. I say we do it."

"We're aiming for May, then," he widely grinned. "And… as for the other thing… We haven't heard anything from the agency."

"Give it time," Natasha soothed.

His smile fell as he watched her face. "Have we given up on the other thing yet?" he softly asked.

Natasha stared at her empty plate and shrugged. "It's recommended we try again after two more cycles pass. So far, I've had nothing since December, but my body's out of whack from the supplements they're making me take," she informed.

"No rush," Bruce promised.

"I wouldn't mind rushing the wedding, though," Natasha commented. "We might get brownie points if the agency sees we tied the knot."

"We'll start right away, then," Bruce promised.

* * *

"I want Clint as my Maid of Honour," Natasha said aloud as she flipped through a bridal catalogue.

"Let's focus on a venue first," Bruce lightly scolded.

She dog-eared and circled a flower centerpiece with a white and pastel yellow bouquet. "We already decided. Outdoors."

"If we want this in three months, we need to do better." Bruce finished writing a personal note into Maria Hill's invitation.

Natasha set her magazine aside and turned to Google for venue advice. "You wrote down that caterer, right? The one Pepper and Stark had?"

"Put in a call last week," Bruce replied. "They'll be happy to serve us."

"We've got, what, twenty guests, give or take?" she wondered.

"We're allowing plus ones, so we'll know once we get responses."

"You think you can come up with a way to send Thor an invite?" Natasha joked as she smiled at her fiancé.

Bruce laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "That's a question for Jane."

* * *

Natasha persuaded Bruce to take a trip to Coney Island after having their Valentine's Day dinner. They weren't the only couple enjoying a walk down the pier, but they easily ignored the others. Bruce held Natasha's hand as the ocean waves gently crashed into one another.

"Did you ever think we'd get this far?" The heat of Natasha's breath formed a tiny cloud as she spoke. "Marriage, I mean?"

Bruce hummed and admired the stars overhead. "I always had my hopes."

She turned to him with furrowed brows. "You sound doubtful."

"That was before I had control over the other guy," Bruce reminded her. "I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you. And that's exactly what I was doing. I felt we were better off apart."

"And I insisted none of that bothered me." His fingers were warm and comforting to the touch. "The worst part was when you left," she quietly admitted. "Part of me was sure you'd never come back."

"Thank my heart for forcing me to return," he chuckled, squeezing her small hand. "It hurt to be away from you…"

Natasha rested her head against his shoulder. "I don't regret us."

"Me neither," Bruce agreed.

* * *

"It's beautiful. I can definitely see us getting married here," Bruce said as he admired pictures of a white gazebo surrounded by lush trees and flower bushes.

"You like it?" Natasha drew her legs close to her body as she relaxed against Bruce's side.

"This beat out every other option for you, then?" Bruce wondered as he flicked through previous couples' wedding photos on his tablet.

"It did," she nodded.

"Then I'll call in the morning," he smiled.

Natasha presented her phone to him to proudly display a confirmation email. "Already reserved it. May 15th."

"I'll finish the invitations and send them out ASAP." He leaned in to give her a kiss.

"And I can tell the girls it's time to go dress shopping."

"Promise me you'll get it done before any missions come up." Bruce wished he could've said it jokingly, but they both knew it was the truth.

"You don't wanna marry me in my catsuit?" she winked, draping an arm across his middle.

Bruce chuckled. "I would." He wound one of her curls around his finger. "But it's not every day that Natasha Romanoff wears a frilly white dress."

She wrinkled her nose. "I don't think I've _ever_ worn a dress in white."

"Good thing we hired a photographer."

Natasha yanked the tablet out of his grasp and set it aside before crawling onto his lap. "Don't forget you need a tux, Mister." Her fingers dipped beneath his shirt collar and started massaging his chest.

"I'll tell Tony you said that. He's more focused on the bachelor party," he grinned.

Natasha lowered her head to kiss the side of his neck. "Typical."

* * *

 **March**

Natasha wasn't a fan of being a Barbie for a day, but she needed a dress, and she needed it to fit perfectly. Staring at her three reflections through a set of seven foot tall mirrors was making her feel self-conscious. In addition to her five pound gain since Christmas, she felt bloated, but she was taking that as a sign that her period was about to come around. Natasha was advised to avoid any strenuous exercise, but some extra time at the gym wouldn't hurt. Plus, she had a mission scheduled for next week.

"I liked the second one more," Laura spoke up. "This one's nice, but I prefer the strapless."

Natasha admired the V-neckline dress and toyed with the frills cascading down her side. "Yeah, that one was nice.

"Aunty Nat, you look like a princess in all of these!" Lila gushed, fluffing the train of her dress.

Natasha smiled at her little flower girl. "I'm sure you'll look even prettier in your dress."

"Can I show you the one I want? Mom, you look, too."

Laura frowned upon noticing that Nathaniel was missing. "Where's Nat?" she groaned.

"I've got him." Pepper dragged the four-year-old by the hand. "We were looking at veils."

Natasha knelt down and smiled at her youngest nephew. "Did you find me a nice one, Nat?"

He nodded and his lips curled up with his father's grin. "I go get!" He began to run, but Laura scolded him with a stern "hey!"

Laura motioned for her son to take her hand. "Stay close, little man. We won't be here much longer."

"I hope so," Natasha snorted. "Can I try on the fourth dress again?" she asked the storeowner. "I liked that one best."

* * *

"For someone who found their wedding dress, you don't look too happy." Bruce continued to rub her feet as they lay on the couch together.

"Just feeling fat. And some cramps," she added, absently watching the TV.

Bruce pursed his lips and awkwardly shifted his attention to the TV.

"I just hope it's worth it." She turned her head to the side and closed her eyes.

"Focus on our baby," Bruce advised. "Imagine being a mom, and me as a dad…" He caught her managing a small smile.

"I've imagined you as a dad for years."

"And I've always thought of you as a mom." Natasha began to laugh as though he told a joke. "Not all the time," he added with a chuckle. "But whenever we visit the Bartons… I always see it…"

Natasha opened her eyes and caught Bruce with that longing twinkle in his eyes. That very look made her desire for a baby stronger. "You're killing me, Banner," she muttered.

The next morning, Natasha was called away on a mission. She wasn't feeling her best, but she accepted regardless. Natasha ended up nodding off on the jet and dreamt about Bruce coming home holding a small bundle in his arms. He was grinning from ear to ear as he lovingly ogled a tiny arm that popped up from beneath a fuzzy blanket. His happiness was contagious, and Natasha found herself drawn to that chubby pink hand. She approached Bruce and let her fingers tug at the blanket so she could meet her little stranger.

The plane hit turbulence, jolting her awake before she could steal a peek at her imaginary progeny. She felt disappointed throughout the rest of the day, mostly due to the growing sense of longing in her heart.

 _Focus, Romanoff._ She knew she'd never get to see what was nestled under that blanket if she got herself killed. One brief distraction on the field was all it would take for her life to cease. For Bruce's sake, she forced herself to focus on the mission at hand. Natasha promised herself that once she got home, she would request some time off. The Black Widow was sensing that retirement was near. For the sake of her future family, a small part of her hoped the feeling wouldn't subside. Bruce would be thrilled to hear that. He'd also encourage it.

* * *

Nick looked more exhausted than the last time she'd seen him. Despite his casual way of keeping his back straight and fingers laced in their usual manner, the glassy look in his eye worried Natasha.

"Time off, then?" Nick repeated. "For you, I'll make it happen." He turned his head to the side to cough against his hand.

"Nick." Her professional tone was meant to feel threatening.

"Fine," he quickly managed before coughing again.

"You should see someone."

Nick composed himself and reached for a pale yellow envelope. "I received my invitation yesterday," he mentioned, quickly changing the subject. "May 15th."

Attempting to act like his mother wasn't going to work against a stubborn grown man, so for now, Natasha would let it slide. "I'd like you to walk me down the aisle," she announced.

He smiled tiredly. "I'll accept the honour."

Natasha sank back in her chair. "For someone concerned about this job being too old for me, you're not looking like one to talk."

"Maybe you and I both could use a break," he answered.

"Or retire."

Fury smirked. "I take it that comment was aimed solely at me."

"You'd be surprised," Natasha shrugged.

"Changing your mind so soon, Romanoff?"

She rested her elbow against the chair's arm and let her fingers support her cheek. "I'm starting to think being a mom will be a full-time job of its own."

Nick whistled and chuckled before a cough interrupted.

Natasha frowned and glanced away. He looked miserable.

"Gonna have to hand it to Banner for settling you down."

"Nothing's set in stone," she briskly answered. "But you should consider retirement, Nick. At the very least, a vacation."

"I'll be better for the wedding," he swore with a gentle grin.

"Don't let me down, Nick."


	8. Chapter 8

**April**

Her cell phone began to ring around 3am. Natasha quickly reacted and grabbed the device, her chest tightening when she saw Tony's name as the caller. "How is he?"

Bruce rubbed his eyes and groggily sat up. He blindly reached for Natasha's hand while the other searched for his glasses.

"Better than yesterday," Tony replied, his voice thick from a lack of sleep.

Natasha was afraid to ask the question pressing on her mind. "Then why are you calling?"

Tony was quiet for a long minute. "They found fluid in his lungs. He's going in for surgery."

Natasha pulled her hand out of Bruce's reach as she bolted out of bed. "I'm on my way. Stay with him until I'm there."

"Natasha." Tony rarely used her first name. "Stay home and rest. You were with him all day."

"I need to be there." She flipped on the bedroom light, not giving a care that she blinded her fiancé.

"You'll be forced to sit in the waiting room," Tony warned. "All we can do is wait for a call."

"No." Natasha grabbed the first pair of jeans she could find. "I'll be right over." She hung up and let her phone drop to the floor as she frantically changed.

"Natasha…" Bruce's eyes adjusted to the intense light. He worriedly watched from the bed, searching for the best way to handle her in this state. After Nick collapsed at work yesterday morning, she was a wreck. She wouldn't have left her boss' side if not for Bruce to drag her away while Tony swore to stay and keep her updated.

"I'm staying at the hospital tonight," she muttered, pulling up a pair of jeans that fit snugly at the hips.

"What happened?" Bruce left the bed wearing only his pajama pants as he went in search of clean clothes.

"Fluid in his lungs. Needs surgery." She snatched up her phone, then grabbed her purse and keys.

"Natasha, wait!" he called out, khaki pants in hand. "I'm going."

She stopped in the doorway and shook her head. "Stay here. Sleep."

"You need me," he gruffly replied.

"Bruce…"

He sloppily buttoned up a shirt before pulling up a pair of pants.

"Please stay..."

Bruce didn't bother to hunt for any socks. That would only waste more of Natasha's precious time. "I'm not leaving you alone." He slipped his feet into the first pair of shoes he could find and hurried to her side. "Let's go."

Natasha pursed her lips and gestured for his hand.

Tony was waiting for them in the hospital's lobby. Nick had just gone in for surgery and Natasha collapsed into the nearest chair.

"Thank you for letting us know, Tony," Bruce mumbled. "You should go home. We'll call you."

Tony's eyes rested on Natasha as she sat with her face buried in her hands. "Take care of her," he whispered as he gave his partner a light pat on the shoulder.

Bruce nodded and took a seat beside his fiancée. "He'll pull through this, Natasha." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to his chest.

"I…" Natasha struggled to fight back her tears. This wasn't the first time she thought she would lose Nick. "I can't lose him," she breathed, fingers clinging onto his shirt.

"It'll be okay." He rubbed her arm and rested his chin on her head. "He's strong."

A sob escaped her throat. "He wouldn't be here if he was strong…"

"Come on, Natasha," he soothed. "Think positive."

"Hell of a lot of good that's done us!" she scoffed.

Bruce kissed the top of her head. "He promised to walk you down the aisle. Nick won't break a promise like that."

Natasha's body stilled as she relaxed against his chest. "You really don't have to stay."

"I want to. And I know you want me to stay." He carefully ran his fingers through her curls.

"I do," she whispered.

The two were quick to drift off to sleep using one another as a pillow. Natasha stirred after an hour, but hardly moved a muscle as not to disturb Bruce. The sound of his steady breathy soothed her back into sleep.

When a set of doors swung open, Natasha instantly awoke. A nurse drew towards them and Natasha abandoned Bruce's side to hear the news. His head rocked to the side and his lack of Natasha's shoulder jolted him awake. The nurse assured Natasha that Nick was doing fine and that they could visit once he was awake. Upon hearing that, Natasha hurried to Bruce's side and wrapped her arms around his neck. "He's okay!" she gasped in relief.

"How about we go home for a bit?" Bruce wearily suggested.

She nodded and double checked that the nurse had her number on file before leaving.

"I can make pancakes," Bruce suggested as he escorted Natasha out of the hospital.

She shook her head, arms folded across her chest. "I'm not hungry."

He understood how tired and exhausted she was. He also knew that pushing her could possibly result in a breakdown. "Okay," he softly replied. His hand reached for hers, their own private way of wordlessly assuring the other that they're there.

Nick was discharged from the hospital three days later. Natasha wanted to strangle him for putting her through hell. Seeing her so angry made Bruce and Nick very happy-it was a sign that Natasha was herself again.

"I think we need another vacation," Natasha began as she sat down for dinner with Bruce.

"We have our honeymoon coming up."

"How about a pre-honeymoon?" she suggested with a wink.

Bruce watched her with interest. "What's bringing this on?"

"All the stress is putting off my cycle," she admitted as she poked at her broccoli. "I really wanna try for a baby by June, but I'm all out of whack."

The rim of his glass hovered before his lips. "Maybe you're pregnant…"

Natasha shot him a glare. "The doctor says it's stress-it's normal."

"Sorry," he breathed, taking a long sip of water.

She glowered down at her stomach and felt her subtle bulge. "The meds I'm on made me gain six pounds since we started this thing…"

Bruce set his glass down. "I've gained a bit of weight, as well," he offered in consolation.

"Yeah?" she hummed. "Doesn't look it."

"You're not fat, Natasha," he promised.

"I'm bloated," she corrected. "And it's disgusting."

"Natasha…" He flashed her a smile. "It's not. You're beautiful."

She pursed her lips. "You better be saying that when I get to be the size of a planet."

He began to chuckle. "I'll be sure to tell you every minute of every day," he swore. "I love you."

* * *

"I know there're errands you need me to do." Natasha came bearing homemade soup during her daily check-in with Nick. "Tell me what you need."

"Natasha, you've done enough," Nick promised as he sat with his legs propped up in his armchair. "Don't you have a wedding to finish planning?"

She shook her head and offered him a glass of orange juice. "All that's left is for my dad to be well enough to walk me down the aisle."

He accepted the drink with a light laugh. "I can walk, Romanoff," he promised.

She seated herself on the couch across from him. "Promise me you won't scare me like that ever again, Nick."

He took a small sip of juice and cleared his throat. "I'm getting old, Natasha." His eye fell on her face. "We both know that."

Natasha held her breath. She had grown to hate the topic of mortality.

"But I can promise you that I'll be around long enough to see Nick Jr."

She didn't even attempt a smile.

"I'm sorry."

Natasha's stoic expression remained unchanged.

"Promise me you'll focus on yourself for the time being," Nick continued. "Banner cares about you, Natasha. Hell, he's crazy for you," he grinned. "Focus on him, at least until the honeymoon's over."

Her eyes narrowed as she finally opened her mouth to speak. "You wind up in the hospital between now and my wedding, and I'll give you a reason to stay there," she threatened.

"You have a deal," Nick chuckled.

"But I'm still bringing you dinner three times a week."

"How about twice a week?" he wagered with a smirk. "I'll let Stark handle the rest of my meals."


	9. Chapter 9

**May**

"I always thought Natasha would be the last to get married," Jane teased, sipping her margarita.

"I didn't think she'd _ever_ get married," Darcy shrugged.

Natasha playfully glared in their direction as she stirred her cocktail. "This is why neither of you get to be maid of honour."

"I'm really sorry I can't convince Clint to wear a dress," Laura smirked.

Natasha wrinkled her nose. "He'd rock the dress better than a tux."

Laura laughed before taking a swig of her beer. "It's his ass. That man has a nicer butt than I do!"

"Laura." Pepper smiled and shook her head. "I think you have a _great_ ass."

She raised a brow and clinked her bottle against Pepper's. "I think you're the first of us to be completely drunk."

"That ain't right!" Darcy exclaimed, bolting out of her seat. "It should be our Banner bachelorette! Drink up, Romanoff-It's on Stark!"

Natasha rolled her eyes and took a small sip of her drink. She couldn't remember the last time she had alcohol-she stopped once she became serious about baby making business, but tonight, she figured she'd treat herself. Not too much, though, as per her promise to Bruce.

* * *

"Tony, I swore to Natasha that nothing would get out of hand!" Bruce whined. "We're getting married tomorrow!"

"Strippers are tradition, Banner!" Tony roughly smacked his partner's back. "C'mon, the one on the left is winking at you!"

"What happens here, stays here, right?" Clint snorted, a beer in hand.

"Attaboy!" Tony grinned. "See? He's married and he's going for it!"

"I'm not going for it," Clint retorted. "Just watching." He took a swig of his beer and waved to the women dancing on stage.

Tony began nudging Bruce towards the stage. The groom shook his head, but his feet were forced to move to prevent himself from stumbling forward. "T-Tony!" As he neared the stage, the dancers took note.

"This guy's getting hitched tomorrow, ladies!" Tony shouted over the blaring music. "Take care of him."

A blonde took Bruce's hand and pulled him up on stage beneath the sweltering, multi-coloured lights. He was forced down in a chair at center stage and men cheered over the music. Bruce fidgeted with his fingers in his lap. His entire body felt hot, his face, especially. The blonde flaunted her cleavage, but Bruce averted his gaze. That strategy didn't help. He caught sight of a redhead blowing him a kiss and his fried brain made him see Natasha. Bruce's lips formed a thin line as he innocently folded his hands to conveniently cover the front of his pants.

* * *

"Shots, girls!" Pepper brought a bottle of clear liquid to their table accompanied by five shot glasses.

Natasha waved her hand to decline. "I need to remember my vows tomorrow."

"You've barely finished one drink," Jane drawled. "C'mon, one shot."

She took a shot with her friends, but one wasn't enough for them. "Guys." Natasha forced a smile. "I'm done for the night." She slid her glass over to Darcy.

"When did you become a goody-goody, Romanoff?!" Darcy accused.

Natasha shrugged with a crooked grin. "Must be old age catching up to me."

"Don't tell me Banner has you whipped," Laura laughed.

"Something like that," Natasha mused. "I'm still wearing the pants, though, don't worry."

* * *

Bruce heard the door to their apartment open, then close. He checked his phone to see that it was just after two.

"Bruce?"

He was grateful she sounded sober as she entered their bedroom. Dealing with a drunk Tony and Clint all evening had given him a headache.

"You sleeping?" Natasha kicked off her heels and carefully sat on the bed.

Bruce propped himself up on an elbow and smiled at her. "Got home half an hour ago."

"Can't sleep?" Her eyes were well adjusted to the dark as she reached for his face.

"Not after tonight," he laughed.

"Do tell," Natasha encouraged.

He adjusted himself into a seated position and shook his head. "There were strippers," he flatly admitted. "I got two lap dances."

Natasha raised a brow in interest. "Two, huh? Lucky you."

"It was humiliating," he chuckled, recalling the sweltering lights beating down on him as "Lucy" shook her rear in his face.

"Were they hot?" She brought her lips close to his ear.

He recalled the redhead and felt his voice hitch. "One looked like you. But… that might've been my nerves acting up."

"Glad you were thinking of me, husband." She hummed as she kissed his jaw.

His hands groped her hips as she moved to straddle his lap. Her breath smelled like alcohol, but it was nowhere near as strong as Tony's.

"Tell you what, big guy," she whispered, "tomorrow night, I'll give you the best lap dance of your life."

His fingers hitched up her skirt to feel the warmth of her silky thighs. "I'd like that," he grinned, his lips finding hers.

"Think we should have sex right now?" Natasha snorted, arms locked around his neck.

"We can wait a night." He kissed the edge of her mouth. "Abstinence makes the heart fonder."

She gently ran her fingers through his curls and quietly laughed. "Tomorrow we'll be married," she murmured, pressing her forehead against his.

Bruce's gaze locked with hers. "Tomorrow you'll be Mrs. Natasha Banner."

"Better late than never," she smiled.

"Tomorrow, I'll finally feel complete. I love you, Natasha."

She caught a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke. "I love you, too."

* * *

Natasha stared at herself in an elongated mirror and smoothed the silky layers of her satin gown.

"Nervous?" Laura wondered as she helped straighten the bride's veil.

"No." She continued to gawk at herself and wondered what Bruce would think. Her curls were neatly tied back in a tight bun and her make-up had a natural, elegant look, as opposed to the sexier makeover she'd don for a date night.

"Aunty Nat, you look so pretty!" Lila gingerly reached for the end of her veil.

"I think you look even more beautiful, sweetie." She pat Lila's shoulder, careful not to disturb the French braids her mother worked hard on. "Got your flowers ready?"

She held up her basket with a wide grin.

"Lila, go find Dad and get in position," Laura gently warned.

"Yes, Mama," she nodded, bouncing off in search of Clint and her siblings.

Watching Lila made Natasha's womb throb for one of her own. Bruce had her in deep, but she didn't mind. Her life as Mrs. Banner was about to begin, and she desperately yearned for her and Bruce to soon have a third special someone in their family.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Laura smirked.

"A little," Natasha shrugged.

Laura rubbed her back and the two stared at their reflections. "I was nervous before marrying Clint, too. You'll be fine... Geez, Bruce is gonna be speechless when he sees you."

Natasha managed a brief laugh. "Thank you."

"I'll take pictures," she promised. There was a knock at the door and Laura hurried to get it. "Time to get things started?"

Natasha turned around, careful of her flowing dress when she saw Nick through the mirror.

His eye went wide in surprise when he caught his first glimpse of her. "Never seen you in white before," he chuckled.

"I kinda like the change." She approached him with a casual smirk. "Are we on?"

"Just about," he nodded.

Laura flashed Natasha a quick thumbs up. "I'll see you at the altar," she announced before leaving.

Nick kept his eye fixed on Natasha as they were left in silence. "You've come a long way, Romanoff." He shifted his weight against his cane.

"So have you," she quietly commented.

"Nervous?"

"Not for this," she assured him. "Only what comes after…"

"Take as much time off as you need," Nick promised. "Work can wait."

"And if I decide to quit?" she challenged with an arched brow.

Nick chuckled and held out his hand. "I'll see to it that no one replaces you."

The sound of a piano startled her. "Looks like we should head out." Her heart began to race, but she was excited. The baby nerves were shoved to the side as she linked arms with Nick. Today was about her and Bruce. Any mention of a third Banner could wait until after the honeymoon. She focused on keeping her stride short and slow to be in sync with Nick's.

"Now are you nervous?" he whispered as an usher opened the door that led to the outdoor gazebo.

The sun against her bare arms felt nice. She took her first step onto the white carpet that stretched towards their friends. "I'm fine," she breathed. Once she picked out Bruce in his white tux, she felt relaxed. He seemed to be watching her, but he was too far for her to clearly tell. The few friends they had invited turned in their chairs, but Natasha paid no attention to them. She was drawing closer to the man she'd soon call her husband, and the closer she got, the more she wanted to laugh.

His lips parted as she approached and his mind drew a complete blank. He never thought he'd ever see her in a white dress, let alone one with layers of silk that covered her toes and made it look as if she was floating towards him. Tony gave him a pat on the back and whispered something, but Bruce was too awestruck by Natasha's smile to hear anything. His world consisted only of her.

Natasha stopped before the gazebo's step to give Nick a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Good luck to you, Romanoff," he answered, his smile losing some of its warmth when he realised that this was the last time he would call her that.

She took a deep breath before turning to Bruce. He offered her his hand as she stepped up onto the platform.

"You look incredible," he breathed with a boyish grin.

Natasha gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You're looking pretty handsome, yourself."

Bruce couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She was radiant, and her smile was something he needed to see more of. They had their share of rough patches over the course of one year, but he was certain things would come around for them. He caught her eyes flicker from the minister, to him. Bruce opened his mouth and wondered if the silence was real, or if it was all in his head.

"Vows," Natasha mouthed, holding back a laugh. She gripped his sweaty palm as he nodded.

"N-Natasha Romanoff…" His heart raced as he gazed into her emerald eyes. He took a second to laugh and apologise. "You have me at a loss for words, more than usual…" He paused, taking mental pictures of her smiling face. "I never thought we'd be standing here together, but here we are. It's the best day of my life," he proudly confirmed. "We've been through a lot over the years, and getting to know you has helped me see more of myself." He breathed in, swearing that he wouldn't cry. "You have… You have made me a better man, a stronger man, and I thank you for being with me as my best friend. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

Natasha found herself rapidly blinking to fight back the incoming tears. She swore to get him back later if she actually cried.

"You are my happiness, and I want to see you smiling like you are right now every day of my life."

Little Nathaniel was motioned over to Bruce's side. He stretched his arms up high to present Bruce with a pillow that the rings rested upon.

"Today, I'm thrilled to be made your husband."

Natasha smirked.

"Here's to us, Mrs. Banner." He carefully slid the ring onto her finger as Nathaniel went to Natasha's side.

She took a moment to admire her ring before returning her attention to Bruce. "I never expected us to click," she began. "But here we are…" she paused. "I'm used to seeing you at your best, but I've seen you at your very worst, and if that couldn't keep us apart, then I don't know what can." Natasha took a deep breath. "You've seen me on my bad days, Bruce…" She remembered breaking down in a fit of tears during their second round of negative pregnancy tests. The abrupt thought made it hard to continue. "And I'm glad you were there with me when I needed you."

Only Bruce could see the pain in her eyes and it forced him to tears.

"I firmly believe that you've made me a kinder and gentler person," Natasha continued, fighting to compose herself. Today was a happy day. "And I'm not the one with a big green guy for an alter ego." Her comment received a round of subtle laughter and brought back Bruce's smile. "So here's to us, big guy," she smirked. "I'm not even gonna give you an opportunity to back away from this." She reached for his ring and slid it onto his finger. "You're stuck with me," she winked.

The minister took their silence as his cue to continue. "By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Natasha threw her arms around Bruce's neck and their friends erupted into applause and cheers as they kissed.

"I love you," Bruce swore in between kisses.

"Love you, too. _Husband_ ," Natasha hummed as the cheers failed to cease.

They enjoyed mingling with their friends during the after party. Natasha had a dance with every man there, but saved a slow dance with her husband for last. After dinner and cake, they said their goodbyes before Bruce mentioned that their taxi was waiting for them.

"Hawaii, huh?" Natasha grinned after being helped into the cab.

"I wanted an excuse to get you in a bikini all to myself."

"Perv," she snorted as she attempted to peel off her veil. It was caught in her scalp and Bruce laughed before finally attempting to help her.

"Good thing our flight's in an hour." He pulled out bobby pin after bobby pin (along with several stray hairs) from her head until the veil was free.

"I think it'll take longer than that to take this damn thing off," she smirked.

"It better not. I was hoping we could settle some matters in our bedroom… _Mrs._ Banner." He gave her a knowing grin.

Natasha raised a brow in interest. "Hearing that makes it hard for me to not take you right now…"

Bruce planned a two week stay in Hawaii. The first day was spent in their hotel room sleeping off the jetlag and making love in the Jacuzzi tub. Natasha flaunted her bikini the second day as they explored the beach and went snorkeling. They made the most of every minute of their honeymoon until the fun was cut short by three days.

"Natasha?" Bruce was finishing with packing their towels and some water into a bag when a phone call forced Natasha's face to pale. "Tasha!"

She collapsed onto the bed after saying a broken "we're leaving right now" into the phone.

"What happened?!" he gasped, plopping down at her side.

Natasha tossed her phone to the side and buried her face in Bruce's chest. "Nick's dead."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Natasha, what…"

She grabbed his floral shirt as the harsh reality sank in. "Clint… said he was hospitalized four days ago… but he didn't want to worry us…" She sharply inhaled. "Died this morning…"

"Oh my God…" Bruce pulled her close to his chest. Nick seemed perfectly healthy at the wedding. To think that he would pass so suddenly left him speechless. "I…I'll find a flight for us."

Natasha had spent the past week and a half in pure bliss, and now, all her joy had crumbled right before her eyes.

Bruce grabbed his tablet and spared no expense when it came to booking a flight. "There's one leaving in four hours…" He glanced up at Natasha and she gave him a nod. There was nothing worse than seeing her so heartbroken after having days of non-stop smiling. He ordered them two tickets home and set his device aside so he could hold his wife close. "I'm so sorry, Natasha…"

"He was fine…" she breathed. "I…I can't believe he _died_ …" The word sounded foreign on her tongue.

"At least he got to see us get married," Bruce murmured. "He wanted that."

Her fingers gripped the front of his shirt before she broke down in a fit of ugly tears.

* * *

Tony and Maria worked to plan a service. Hundreds attended, a majority being former and current S.H.I.E.L.D. employees. Natasha wore a stone cold mask during the funeral, but Bruce caught her crying when the casket was lowered. She went home with one of his jackets, his medals, and her S.H.I.E.L.D. file, which she willingly set on fire in their kitchen sink. Bruce watched, unsure of where they were to go from there.

"I'll find a case for his medals," he suggested while Natasha smothered the small fire with a dish towel. "We can hang them up in the living room."

Natasha shrugged a shoulder, keeping her back to Bruce.

"I…I'll leave you alone…" She hadn't been one for conversation since that phone call. It had been five days.

She heard him sigh before turning away. "Bruce?" she quietly called out.

He stopped, fixing his pleading eyes on the back of her head.

Nick's passing was only making it clearer just how fleeting Bruce's time was. Her husband had only one dream that was quite clear to her, and she wanted to fulfill it. "Let's try for a baby."

Bruce wanted that. He desperately yearned for it, but he knew now wasn't the time. "We should wait." He knew Natasha's stress wouldn't fare well on a baby, and they both couldn't handle another loss. "Maybe next month."

Her fingers curled into fists. "I'm ready now."

He warily approached her and placed a hand on her back. "We're both stressed, Natasha. Now isn't a good time."

She jerked away from his touch. "This will make us happy."

"It will," Bruce agreed, "but I don't think your body's ready for this."

Natasha shot him a glare out of the corner of her eye. "It is. You don't know my body."

"I know you're stressed, Tasha." He offered her his hand, but she slapped it away.

"I want a damn baby, Bruce!" she snapped. "I'm fine! We'll get a baby and you'll finally be happy!" she shouted in frustration.

"This is about _us_ ," he corrected. "Don't force this because of me. I can wait." He took a careful step back.

"You can't _wait,_ Bruce!" Hot tears stung her eyes. "Every day we wait is another less day for you! I-I can't lose you!" she screamed, allowing her tears to freely fall. "I need you!" Breathless, she slumped back against the counter and beat the edge with her fist. "I can't lose you…"

"Natasha…" He reached for her hand that insisted on punching the countertop. "I'm right here. I swear I'm not going anywhere…."

 _That was what Nick said, too…_ Natasha held her breath and wrapped her arms around Bruce's middle.

He never understood the gravity of Nick's death was until now. She wasn't just grieving for her father figure. She was grieving for him, as well. "I'm stuck with you, remember?" he soothed. "Till I'm old and grey."

"You're already grey," she grumbled.

"But I'm not old," he playfully warned.

Natasha pressed her forehead against his chest. "You're making this worse…"

"I'm being positive," he informed her. His hand reached for her chin and Natasha lifted her head. "We've had a lot of misfortune… but I know that it means something amazing is coming our way."

Her red and swollen eyes continued to give him a glare.

"We'll get through this. One day at a time…"

She lowered her gaze. "Easier said than done."

"One day at a time," he gently repeated.

She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I think I'd like to wait a week to hang his medals up…Maybe two."

"Okay," he nodded. Natasha's grieving process was going to be a difficult one, but he vowed to support her through the worst of times.

"I've never lost anyone so important," she murmured. "Don't get me wrong-I loved Steve to death, but… I saw Nick as my dad..."

His heart ached for her, but he couldn't lose his calm composure. Natasha needed him to be the strong one for the time being.


	10. Chapter 10

**June**

Natasha wasn't quite herself since Nick's death, but Bruce knew she was healing. She became more talkative and a week after Nick's funeral, her appetite returned. Their friends wanted to help, and Laura gave Clint the idea to invite the newlyweds to the farm for a few days. Bruce knew that would help cheer Natasha up, and he was eager to let his wife know.

He handed Natasha a hand-drawn card from Lila. "I ran into the Bartons the other day."

Natasha smiled upon seeing a redheaded stick figure holding hands with a smaller stick figure with braids. She opened the card to find a note from Lila: "We love you, Aunty Nat!"

"They invited us to stay for the weekend, or longer, if we'd like. On the farm!" he eagerly added.

She closed the card and turned it over to find colourful blobs, most likely scribbled by little Nat. "I'd like that." She flashed Bruce a small smile.

"That's great!" he beamed.

"I'll tell Clint. Maybe next weekend."

Bruce nodded, content with whatever Natasha wished to do.

"They did that bonfire last year. Remember that?" she reminisced.

He nodded with a chuckle. "I recall you being the reason Cooper received a nasty bruise on his head."

"I told him: don't attempt what Aunty Nat does on the slip and slide." She laughed and Bruce smiled widely. Making her laugh had been a trying task, but Natasha knew it made others feel relieved to know she was happy.

Nathaniel was the first to greet them upon arrival. He ran outside with bare feet while his siblings chased after him.

"There's my buddy!" Natasha knelt down to let the four-year-old leap into her arms.

Seeing her with the kids made Bruce confident that she'd make a perfect mother.

"We play!" Nathaniel chanted. "We play!"

"Let me say hi to mom and dad, first." Natasha carried him inside while Cooper talked about his slip and slide in the back yard.

Clint flashed her a sideways grin when he saw her. "Nat Banner."

"Still sound weird?" She set little Nat down.

"Weird," he nodded. "But it suits you."

"Thank you, Clint." She lowered her eyes and let them follow the youngest Barton as he ran off.

"We're glad you're staying," he smiled. "I was worried Banner would keep you all to himself."

Natasha glanced up with a smirk. "You're never getting rid of me, Barton."

Clint felt like the old Natasha was finally back, and that was what mattered most to him.

The group spent the afternoon outside under the hot sun. Clint and Natasha partook in a water gun fight and Bruce swore they were having more fun than the kids. They had barbecue for dinner and had s'mores over a bonfire for dessert.

"I don't think I'd mind staying an extra day or two," Natasha hummed as she lay in the guest bed with Bruce.

"You just need an excuse to play all day," he teased.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Can't blame me for having fun."

"Maybe when we get home, I'll buy you your own Nerf gun."

She curled up against his chest and shut her eyes. "I'm feeling a lot better," she whispered. "I still miss him… but I'm okay."

"That's my girl." He gingerly kissed her hair before they soon drifted off to sleep.

Natasha had some bleeding the next morning, but she held off on telling Bruce since the Barton kids insisted on swarming her all through breakfast.

The day's entertainment consisted of an assortment of bows and arrows with paper targets stuck to a group of trees. Clint was eager to get his little Hawkeyes trained and Natasha was eager to help. Bruce agreed to join, though his aim was far from perfect. Natasha mocked her husband's poor eyesight, but Bruce got his revenge when he surprised her by soaking her back with a water gun. That led to a boys vs. girls challenge lasting until Nathaniel demanded lunch.

* * *

"Aunty Nat, can you do my hair?" Lila asked, showing off a collection of hair ties on her wrist.

"How about later? I told your mom I'd help with dinner."

Laura shook her head before washing her hands. "You're here to relax, Nat. I'll get Clint to help."

Natasha wanted to disagree, but Lila was already dragging her away towards the TV. "Okay, kid. Pigtails?" she wondered, taking a seat on the couch.

"A ponytail," she announced, sitting before Natasha's feet.

"Mixing things up today?" She found a comb resting on the arm of the couch and she began brushing through Lila's long hair. An ache in her back forced Natasha to stop for a second. As fun as the kids were, she wondered if she was getting too old for their games. The pain returned during dinner, this time in her stomach, ending Natasha's appetite.

Bruce was the first to notice as she aimlessly pushed bits of chicken and carrots around her plate. "Tasha?" he whispered. "You okay?"

She gave him a smile. "Full," she quietly answered.

He waited until after dinner to further question her. "You didn't eat much," he noticed, watching as she tossed some dirty clothes into a hamper.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "I think I'm getting my period."

"Oh," he breathed, rubbing the back of his neck.

She began to laugh. "Had a little bleeding earlier… But you know what? We're that much closer to trying for that baby."

Bruce hesitated. "If… If you're ready to do it…"

Natasha sauntered over to him and grabbed his hands. "I've never been more ready," she promised, giving him a loving kiss.

"Then I'm ready, too," he agreed with a wide grin.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," Natasha mused. "Kinda getting some bad cramps."

"Want me to ask if Laura has some medicine?" Bruce offered.

She shook her head as she crawled beneath the covers. "I'll sleep it off. Go have fun."

"I'll join you soon," he promised. Bruce let her have some peace and told the kids she had a headache.

"Is she really okay?" Laura prodded. "There's some Advil in the cabinet."

Bruce didn't want to admit his wife was having "lady problems" in front of the kids. "She'll be fine," he promised. Little Nat requested a bedtime story from his uncle and Bruce was more than happy to read to him. Halfway through _Goodnight Moon_ , Nathaniel fell fast asleep and Bruce was ready to do the same. Natasha was fast asleep when he entered their room. He made sure to be quiet while brushing his teeth and getting dressed for bed before accompanying her.

She felt the weight of the bed shift and stirred. "Time?" she mumbled.

"Almost ten." He draped an arm over her side. "You okay?"

Natasha buried her face deeper into her pillow. "Cramps."

"Want anything?" he offered.

"I'm fine." She managed to drift off to sleep but restlessly tossed and turned throughout the night. The cramps were hardly bearable when the early hours of the morning rolled around. She checked her phone and saw that it was just after four. Natasha left the bed with a groan as she padded to the bathroom. Seeing the tub tempted her into drawing herself a hot bath. She closed the door in hopes of stifling the sound of running water, but Bruce was quick to awaken.

"Tasha?" He reached for his glasses as a pale blue hue filtered through the window. "Natasha?" His feet carried him over to the bathroom. He gave the door a light knock before opening it. The bathroom's intense lights were making it hard for him to keep his eyes open.

Natasha was sitting on the edge of the tub, rubbing her back when he entered. "Sorry I woke you," she breathed. "I figured a bath would help the cramps."

He carefully took a seat beside her. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Just uncomfortable."

Bruce was too tired to tell if she was lying or not. He glanced into the tub, watching the water level steadily rise. "Try getting some sleep after this, okay?"

"I will," she nodded as he got up. "Sorry, Bruce…" He shut the door on his way out and Natasha began to undress. She slipped into the tub and used a towel as a makeshift pillow as she stretched her legs. The hot water gave her the relief she hoped for and she ended up falling asleep in the comfort of a half-full bathtub.

After seven, Bruce awoke to find Natasha was still absent from the bed. Feeling more conscious than earlier, he sprinted to the bathroom and felt his heart stop when he saw her lying in the tub. "Natasha!" he gasped.

She cracked open an eye to find Bruce hovering uncomfortably close.

"Oh, thank god!" he breathed. "You scared me."

The water around her felt cold as she sat upright. "Sorry… I was comfy." A pang in her belly made her want to retract her last statement.

"Natasha?"

She slowly got out of the tub with help from Bruce. "Cramps…"

"Should they be this bad?" His brows knitted together in worry. "Maybe it's your appendix?"

Natasha shook her head. "It's cramps."

"Food poisoning?"

She wrapped a clean towel around her before stepping into their room to find some clean clothes. "It's feeling like my period."

"Are you bleeding?" he wondered.

"Not yet." She sucked in a deep breath when the pain returned.

"We're going to the hospital," he urged.

The word sent Natasha into a panic. She avoided that place at all cost. They were only a cruel reminder of her past and Nick's final moments. "I'll sleep it off."

"You just tried that," Bruce warned. "Where does it hurt?"

She slipped on a pair of sweatpants over her underwear. "I'll be okay, Bruce."

"How about I get Laura?" he suggested. "She'll know."

"Bruce," she tiredly exhaled.

"I'm getting her now."

"She's sleeping!" Natasha hissed.

"And you're in pain!"

Natasha secured her bra and shot Bruce a glare. "Wait until she wakes up. You'll scare Clint and the kids!"

"Natasha…"

"I'll lay down," she promised. "Lay down with me…"

Their gazes locked in a silent stare down. "Once she's up, you're talking to her," he decided.

Natasha pulled a cami top over her head and went back into the bed. "Okay," she agreed. "Rub my back?"

Bruce joined her and began carefully massaging her. "Here?" he wondered, rubbing his knuckles into her side.

She curled up on her side. "Lower."

While one hand worked on massaging her, the other typed away at his phone. "Laura mentioned Advil. I'll get you some."

"Okay…" Natasha fought to hide the pain she was in for Bruce's sanity. She took the Advil he gave her and proceeded to curl into a tight ball. He had every right to be worried, but she hated his need to rush her to the ER.

Bruce overheard a door creak open and he was gone from Natasha's side in an instant.

She took her moment of peace alone to let out a choked sob. Bullets stung less than the pain wracking her middle.

"Cramps?" Laura's voice whispered.

Bruce shut the door once Laura entered the guest room.

"Nat…" Laura hurried over to the bed. Natasha's face was sickly pale. "My god, Nat, what's wrong?"

Her mouth hung open, but quickly shut.

"Are your cramps always this bad?" Laura ran her fingers through Natasha's hair and felt sweat along her brow.

"This is… I think she's had two previous periods," Bruce stated.

Natasha managed a nod and hugged her gut.

"You're burning up, sweetie…"

Now it was Bruce's turn to pale. "She's been through two rounds of in vitro fertilization," he confessed. "You don't think it's an infection, do you?"

"You're trying for kids?!" Her excitement was doused with worry. "Was this recent?"

Bruce paused to let his racing mind recall a date. "The last one was back in September."

Laura was quiet. "Nine months ago…"

"We would've known about an infection sooner, right?" Bruce wondered.

"Nat, when was your last period?"

Natasha mumbled a quick "yesterday."

"It ended yesterday?"

"I…bled a little. It stopped." She winced and hid half of her face in a pillow.

"And before that?" Laura prodded.

"December."

"You're sure?"

Natasha clenched her jaw. "Pretty damn sure."

Laura shook her head. "When did you last visit a doctor?"

She stopped biting down on her lip to answer. "I… called when I had a negative test."

"That was in October, I believe," Bruce interrupted. "Maybe late September…"

Natasha groaned and gripped the bad sheet. She tried to hide the pain contorting her face, but it was becoming difficult.

Laura reached for Natasha's stomach and felt how firm it was. "Did this start last night?"

Natasha nodded as the pain passed.

"And it's getting worse," Laura stated.

Natasha turned to Bruce with tears brimming in her eyes.

Seeing her on the verge of tears was the final straw for him. "How far's the nearest hospital?" Bruce demanded.

"No!" Natasha snapped. "No!"

"Yes," Laura confirmed. "Before we do anything, I need you to tell me when the next contraction ends and the next begins. Bruce, you time the intervals."

He nodded and found the timer on his phone. "T-timing contraction?" he stammered. "Isn't this used for labor?"

Laura rubbed Natasha's back and tried to remain calm. "I've had three kids, Bruce. I know what this is."

His jaw hung open and he nearly dropped his phone. "Sh-she's not pregnant…"

Natasha shot her friend a glare as a strong ache seized her. "Do I look it?"

"If you're not, then maybe your organs are falling out?" Laura meant it as a joke, but Bruce nearly had a heart attack. "Nat, I really think it's labor."

She shook her head, frantically eying Bruce. "We took four tests."

"And a doctor confirmed that you're not?"

Natasha rolled onto her back. "Pain's stopped," she breathed.

"Timer!" Laura ordered Bruce.

"I had a period months ago," Natasha began. "Didn't last long, but…"

"If she's having a baby, she needs a hospital!" Bruce interrupted.

Laura held up a finger to Bruce. "When did you start feeling the pain-before it got bad?"

Natasha was still trying to let the baby nonsense sink in. Suddenly, her added weight was making sense. "I've gained six or seven pounds," she muttered. "Thought it was stress…"

"Nat!" Laura snapped. "When did the pain start?"

"Before dinner. Around six," she answered.

"I don't think she'll make it to the hospital."

Bruce felt ready to pass out, but Natasha's cry of pain focused him on working the timer.

"What's the time?" Laura asked.

"M-minute twenty-three…"

"I'll get some towels," Laura announced, leaving Natasha's side. "Bruce, call 911."

He gawked at Natasha with his mouth wide open. "A baby…"

Natasha pressed her fingers against her stomach. "Could be my organs leaving…" She tightly shut her eyes. "A kid…We're not ready right _now_ …"

Bruce sat down beside her, eyes on her middle. "I don't think they're willing to wait on us, Natasha." She suddenly grabbed his hand and squeezed. "This is really happening." He breathlessly laughed and frantically called 911. "I… My wife is having a baby?" His wavering tone made it come off as more of a question.

Laura returned with an armful of towels with Clint not too far behind.

"Nat, what the hell?" Clint drew close to the bed, but Laura stopped him. "Keep the kids occupied. We've got an ambulance coming and I don't want them freaking out."

" _I'm_ kinda freaking out right now!" Clint replied in disbelief. "Wha-I tell them Nat's having a baby right now!?"

"Shouldn't have invited us," Natasha managed as she propped herself up on her elbows.

Bruce was feeling more panicked by the second. "They're a minute apart," he said into the phone.

Laura shooed Clint away and helped stuff towels beneath Natasha. "Better to have you here than have Bruce rush you to the ER," she smiled.

"This is embarrassing," Natasha grumbled.

"Could've been worse if a certain someone popped out of you in a taxi."

Natasha managed a weak laugh as she pulled down her pants.

"I'll get you some water."

Natasha's fingers tightened around Bruce's hand as she pushed.

"Feel?" Bruce repeated. He turned to his wife. "Natasha, can you feel anything?"

She was ready to fire off an obvious smartass answer when another contraction hit. "Pressure." She pushed again with a loud gasp.

Laura set a glass of water on the nightstand before sitting between Natasha's legs."Give me the phone," she ordered Bruce.

He handed the device over and draped a fresh towel over Natasha's legs. "You'll be okay," he whispered. "Help's on the way."

"No, I don't see the head…" Laura divulged.

Natasha bit down on her lip. She was currently fearing for the worst. Something had to have gone wrong for her to not notice an entire pregnancy pass her by. "Bruce," she whimpered, tightly shutting her eyes.

"You're doing fine," he promised, kissing her hair.

"Deep breaths, Natasha," Laura coaxed. She skillfully balanced the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Deep breaths, and push through the next contraction."

Natasha did as she was told, gripping Bruce's hand as if her life depended on it.

"You're amazing, Natasha," he grinned. "So amazing-we're having a baby!"

She screamed and lurched forward when Laura mentioned seeing the head.

"Almost there, Nat," she promised.

Bruce was terrified to peek past the towel. Instead, he focused on his wife and repeatedly told her how amazing she was.

Natasha's head fell back into the pillow the second the pain stopped. She could barely keep her eyes open when she saw Laura holding up a squirming pink creature.

"Oh my god!" Bruce gasped as his eyes rested on their child. The rush of fear an excitement brought tears to his eyes. "Na…" He felt lightheaded and his heart was racing. This felt more like a dream, the best dream of his life.

"Oh, it's a boy," Laura beamed. She lay the baby on Natasha's chest and began drying him off. Once his face was clean, he let out a high-pitched cry. "He's beautiful."

Natasha was afraid to touch him. He was tiny, fragile, and hardly felt like hers.

Bruce leaned in for a closer look, his smile a mile wide as he stroked the tufts of dark hair on his son's head. "A boy, Natasha… Look at him…"

The baby screamed and Natasha's breath caught in her throat. She carefully brought her hand close to his cheek and stroked the soft skin as tears ran down her face. "I…" All she could think of was Fury's proposal for a boy. "Nick," she whispered. "Nicholas."

Bruce reached for his son's tiny hand. "That's perfect…" He turned to Natasha with a smile. "This has been the single most terrifying, yet greatest day of my life."

Natasha laughed and wrapped her arms around their baby. "God, he's tiny."

"So tiny," Bruce agreed with a proud grin.

An ambulance arrived for the new mother and son minutes later. The kids were terrified to see Natasha whisked out on a stretcher, but she promised them she was fine as she held a bundle close to her chest. Bruce rode with his family in the ambulance while the Bartons followed by car. Both mother and son were perfectly healthy. Natasha broke down into tears when she was assured her son was fine, all seventeen inches and seven pounds of him.

"He looks like you," Bruce commented, in awe of their newborn.

"I think he looks more like you." Natasha watched Nick soundly sleep in her arms. "I still can't believe this happened."

"We have some major shopping to do," Bruce chuckled.

"What do we tell everyone else?"

Bruce shrugged. "We had a baby...?"

Natasha rolled her eyes and offered him the bundle. "Your turn to hold him, dad."

Bruce warily accepted little Nick with a wide smile. He sat and cradled him close to his chest. "Hey, buddy…" he whispered. "You really scared us back there…"

Natasha relaxed against a stack of pillows, her heart content now that Bruce had his missing piece. He looked happier than ever, and that was enough to assure her that things were heading in the right direction for them. "I love him."

Bruce glanced up at her with fresh tears in his eyes. "I told you we'd get our family."

"I wish it came with a warning," she snorted.

"Life's full of surprises, isn't it?" he laughed.

* * *

Clint and Laura were able to find a handful of Nathaniel's newborn clothes, an old car seat, and a crib. Natasha and Bruce made a successful first shopping trip as parents once they left the hospital with their newest addition in tow. They were forced to quickly settle into their lives as parents to Nicholas Robert Banner, but they grew to love every hectic moment of it. On Nick's one week birthday, they invited the Bartons, Tony, Pepper, and Maria over. They had all seen pictures of the baby, but were still in complete disbelief that Natasha had ever been pregnant.

"He's a welcomed surprise," Natasha promised as Nick slept in her arms.

"It's hard to look at the guest room the same way," Clint teased.

"I still don't believe it," Tony commented.

"Then get a better look, Tony," Bruce playfully warned, "because he looks just like us."

"I'll believe it when he turns green."

Pepper smacked her husband's shoulder.

"I…Well, that has yet to happen," Bruce chuckled.

"It's too bad. Fury would be thrilled to know we named a Hulk Jr. after him," Natasha joked.

Bruce laughed. "I'm sure he's keeping an eye on his namesake."

"Really, Banner?" Tony scoffed. "Eye jokes?"

Natasha was the first to burst out laughing.

"N-No, Tony, I didn't mean it like that!" Bruce stammered. He turned to Natasha, relieved that she found his slip amusing. To see her laughing when thinking of Fury brought him a great sense of relief.

She was happy, he was happy, and their son was happy. They were the happy family he had always yearned for, and that was the way things were going to stay.


End file.
